We are our own enemies

We have all [regrettably] done things we are not very proud of, but it's through these decisions that we learn how to move on and better ourselves. The most important thing we, as humans, can do is step back and assess the world and people around us. To learn how to prioritise the most important aspects in our life enhances our self understanding and importance.  Our priorities are defined by the choices we make in life, it’s not something we write on a piece of paper, but it’s the things we execute in our daily behavior. In every moment we have the opportunity to make a conscious choice in the direction of our well-being. Dedicating ourselves to things of no importance only proves to be a waste of time and life, the things we regret as the end will be dismissing the most important parts of us. It is undeniably difficult to sort out the most important thing is your life considering so many things hold such high positions in our hearts. But the answer is simple; 

You. It's you. 

You are the most important thing in your life. You are your top priority, without being self-centred or concieted. But how is anyone expected to be happy unless they treat themselves with the upmost respect? . You are the only one that can truly allow yourself to be content. Without your mind, you could neither comprehend nor feel happiness. So in the end, it is you that can make yourself happy.

Limiting ourself is surprisingly not self deprived, but it's through the attitudes and opinions of others that we come to a conclusion about specific things, this parable I've heard teaches a important lesson on self limitations and goes like this;

As my friend passed by the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a rope tied to their legs. It was obvious that the elephants could, at any time, break free from the ropes they were tied to, but for some reason they did not. My friend saw the trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to escape.
“Well,” he said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and at that age it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe that they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.” My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were. The powerful and gigantic creature limited its present abilities by the limitations of its past. How many of us go through life believing the ropes tied to us?

Just like the elephant, we ourselves are conditioned to believe the opinions of people thus preventing us to fufill our truest potential. Limiting beliefs are born from rationalisations of previous painful experiences. They are designed to remove responsibility from ourselves. That way we’ll never hurt ourselves again by thinking we can change our situation. It’s not that the elephants believe they’re too weak, but it’s that the rope is too strong and consequently they believe there’s nothing they can do about it. The most unfortunate part of limiting beliefs is that our mind is formed to unconsciously find evidence which already supports our current beliefs. In psychology, this is called the Subjective validation bias. Once the belief is adopted, our mind goes on auto-pilot to continue reinforcing it. The sad thing is, many people conform to the expectations of people and society to the extent that they simply forget themselves. To lose a sense of oneself and become, like the elephant, stuck in a position wherein you are a puppet is the most unfortunate thing.

Ill leave you with this very insightful quote; 

"Most of the shadows of life are caused by standing in our own sunshine" - Ralph Waldo Emerson 

My Story.

Depression is a subject many people tend to avoid. Maybe because of the awkwardness or maybe because of bad memories. For the lucky ones who are privileged enough to have never suffered from this illness, here is the basic definition; depression is the persistent feeling of sadness.
Boo Hoo, some may say, you're sad. So what. The world hasn't stopped spinning because you feel a particular emotion. Well people.. Let me tell you MY definition of depression; it's not just feeling 'sad', its the feeling of being hopeless, guilty, tired, anxious and it's like you're stuck in a big black hole and no matter how hard you try to get out there just doesn't seem to be a way. Maybe not for you, but for us, it DOES feel like the world has stopped spinning.  It's one big ball of emotion we don't WANT to feel but we do because we have no choice, it's not something can control. It's only something we can hide. Hide from everyone.

 As a 16 year old who has been battling with depression on and off since the ripe age of 13, I know what its like to be in the position of truly believing you have no One, that no one cares and nothing matters anymore. I'm fine now, after a long period of self pity and exhaustion... I've realised  that No matter how bad we have it, there is ALWAYS someone who has it worser than us. Always.
My own Mother, my beautiful, strong hearted mother, who was widowed at the tender age of 18. Merely a child herself she was left to fend for daughter and unborn child. We can never understand the pain and heartache anyone goes through. It's true what they say, you have to walk a mile in somebody's shoes to know how they feel and to understand what they are going through. Then there are those people who take everything for granted, complaining their way through life, people who are handed the best of things on a plate. These are the ones who will never understand what it's like to struggle.

The purpose of this post isn't for sympathy. It's to make you understand that everyone is dealing with their own devils. At the end of the day we are only humans. We all have our own lives, our own relationships and problems and illnesses. These are not what define us, what defines us is how we react to these. What defines us is our way of dealing with everything life throws at us.

Make the most of what you have before it makes the most of you.
KismatIsDestiny x

Fleeting moments...

With tears in my eyes I write this piece about how precious life is. A simple word with such a significant meaning. Life. It's so many things to so many different people, to some it's unfair and hard, to others it's amazing. 

At 7:45pm this very evening, I regrettably disconnected a call from my dear auntie. 10 minutes later my grandfather called and told us the news of my grandmothers passing. We had spoken to her two days ago, and after casually conversing with my aunt all day, it was very unexpected and unrealistic.

It shouldn't have been, as Muslims, we are taught that death Is unexpected, and we should always be ready and preparing. This world is just an illusion and it will pass, the hereafter is our real destination. Upon hearing the news I realised how fleeting life is, minutes, days, months and years pass before we understand how much of our lives we have been wasting. One day we are here, the next we're not. Death is the only thing promised in this world and it's getting closer as every second passes. It's so easy to get caught up in the comings and goings of our lives, that we forget that our time in this worldly life is limited, we forget our true aims and purpose.

Our use of or 'killing' time, as some people like to put it, is killing us. It really is. We should take great care of how we use our time. I once read something which has stuck with me ever since, "If you had a bank account which credits you £86,400, and deleted any money which hadn't been used throughout the day. What would you do? Of course you would take out the remainder of money. It's the same with time, every morning we are given 86,400 seconds. It carries over no balance. Every second you leave will be deleted and never returned. If you fail in using the days deposit, the loss is yours. Therefore you must live in the present and invest it so as to get from it the upmost health, happiness and success."

So I urge you, and myself first and foremost, don't waste time. Help people, smile and be polite to everyone whom you come into contact with whether they are a stranger or not. Or one day when our time comes, we will leave this world and our time wasting will be our biggest regret. 

Remember, this life is fleeting. Let us be ready.

KismatIsDestiny x

Importance of Friendship

Friendship is the most beautiful relationship in our life. Lots of people know this. As humans, we should understand the importance of friendship and how it is a very unique part of our life. Our friends give us support and are our pillars of strength. But why are they so important? The foundation of any relationship is mutual trust, and this is true for friendship too. The trust we hold in our friends matures when we, as individuals, mature. Who remembers telling their friend about secret crushes and heartbreaks, I for one do. In fact, and I know this personally, sometimes we trust our friends more than we trust our parents or siblings.

But why is the bond of friends so important? Why is it that the bond of friendship can last a lifetime?

If you were to remember, the most beautiful memories in our lives will be those we experienced with our friends. I remember the carefree days when I was a child and playing in the park, and the fights and make ups was the most important thing we could do! Friendship can cross the narrow barriers of religion, financial status, colour, sex, and even country [as I’ve just discovered!] True friendship is based on understanding between two people. While the rest of the world may judge us ,our friends never pass any judgements. They accept us as who we are, embracing our positives as well as negatives.
As a child I was very sociable, I made friends very very easily, I could approach people well. During my first years at secondary school I became very anti-social, always avoiding people or situations in where I would have to talk to people. I preferred being on my own immensely, I’m sure it became worrying. But throughout those times, I still remember that one friend, who is now my best friend, always being there. She didn’t know what was going on, but she was still there, I think I’m realising now just how much she helped me keep my feet on the ground. There were some days when everything was just dark, and those days, even when I didn’t want her, she was there. It’s funny, because when you meet someone, you never realise how far your friendship is going to go. True friends are those who fight for us and are on our side when we feel like the rest of the world is against us.

There can be many more reasons why our friends are so dear to us and why their friendship is so precious. To conclude, I’ll leave you with this beautiful quote -

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself"

KismatIsDestiny x

Social Media

Social Media is everywhere, there’s no denying or escaping it. From tweeting on Twitter to friends reconnecting on Facebook, Social Network sites such as these have revolutionised the way in which we communicate with each other. It’s made a significant impact on our day-to-day lives. How? For a start, everyone has that one friend who constantly updates their Facebook or Twitter status with their [insert expensive smartphone name here] ...But let’s be honest, how many of us are that person? ... Yeah, that’s what I thought.
In 2009, I joined Twitter. As a Justin Bieber fan. I know, shame on me *shake my head*. Thankfully I saw sense! Twitter was intriguing; the idea of competing for followers was exciting but still new to me. In 2012, I met some very nice tweeters, they know who they are, and the majority of my summer vacation was spent tweeting with them. Unknowingly, I became addicted to twitter, there wasn’t a single day I wouldn’t log in and check the new tweets out. Today I saw something which made me think about these special people whom I have become very much attached to because of twitter, "People on Twitter know best what it's like to miss someone you have never met". This statement rang so true in my mind, these people, who we know barely anything about, become a huge part of our lives and we can’t help it.

The Social Media has changed our lives for the better. We can connect with people whom we know, and those we don’t. There are more advantages then disadvantages to the social media, which is why it’s so successful. So ultimately, is the Social Media a good thing for us? The answer is Yes.

KismatIsDestiny x

Here Goes nothing

The world of "blogging" was always a stranger to me. I didnt understand the concept of posting  personal feeling online for the whole world to see. But now, with the help of my canadian friend, meg :P, i decided to try it. Lately, ive been beginning to feel as if i need get some things off my chest. But i never get the chance, theres more important thing going on, right. They say that sharing your feelings always makes you feel better, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, i dont know why they say this, because for me, it the complete opposite. If i tell someone anything of personal feeling, then it feels like the weight on my shoulders has been added onto, how do you know they are going to keep their  mouth shut? How do you know they wont pity you? Or feel sorry for you? Its simple. You dont.
Thats why i have come to the conclusion that maybe blogging isnt so bad, i mean, the readers dont actually know you ,they are merely people who are interstered in reading blogs, or accidently clicked on the wrong link. So maybe from today , I'll update often or maybe not, but Il'l always know, that whever i feel like saying something, anything, blogging is the answer.

KismatIsDestiny x